Sooner Country

We live in a pretty nice older neighborhood--mainly homes built in the 40's that have been well maintained or recently bought and remodeled. The neighborhood is dear to me because my dad grew up here--he moved into the house we live in in the early 1940s. My grandparents--Ome and Ope--bought this house and proudly moved in with their only child--my then 7 year old father. My Ope was a mailman and my Ome was a homemaker. When I was a kid, we would come to visit and often my little brother and I would sleep over and stay in my dad's old room which was still sort of decorated with his things from high school. Framed pictures of him in his football uniform--leather helmet--and his old girlfriend--the one, my Ome thought, that got away. My dads old dresser was where my Ome kept her spare wigs that lived on white styrofoam heads that someone had lightly crayoned in eyes and lips. An odd place to sleep but we liked it. We played in the elaborate parterre garden and made mud pies. A lot. We were mud chefs actually and pretended to host our own cooking shows. Anyway, this house is full of memories for me. My back yard neighbor, Mrs. Bush, has lived there since I was little and seemed old even then. I can't fathom how she is still alive and kicking and up for a good gossip on the fence. Her next door neighbor Mr. Bueske is quite old as well and remembers my dad as a teen ager. Wow. I guess I should tell you that my dad died three years ago of cancer. So sometimes I get very sad but at the same time happy to be living where my dad grew up. Pretty lucky...so the neighbor hood is nice, but a few streets over begins what is referred to as "the west end" . It is a shabby place by anybodies standards--shabby, but lively I guess. I mean, one house kitty-corner to us has a yard like no other. A hundred pots-- some planted some not, ubiquitous Shrine de la virgin, a large clay St. Francis feeding several plastic pink flamingos...also some real live birds living in cages under the carport. I have lived next to this nutty woman with a canoe in her front yard (planter) for four years and have seen her twice. The family next to her however, I have come to know pretty well through all the crazy little kids that seem to live in their dirt yard and occasionally meander into mine. Their house is notable in the hood b/c it looks like an Appalachian cabin with a swing set in front moved right up to the street, a yard dog, lots of random junk and a large metal sign saying "sooner country" nailed right by the front door. Last March this cute little boy who already had a tan came by and asked if he could do some yard work. Anything, because he told us it was his sisters birthday and he was trying to buy her a present. He said his name was Dougie, but his real name was Jeff--like my husband. Se I call him Jeffrey two. He is like a throw back to my childhood. He is brown and dusty and lives outdoors. He is little for his age, but talkative and sweet and full of bravado. ...

Happy Birthday Owen!

Today is Owens first birthday! I just said that to him for the first time and he smiled and clapped! So here is a list of all the amazing things he can do:

give a kiss with the "mua" sound at the end
drink from a cup and go "ahhh"
move with great rhythm when music comes on
pull on on anything and everything
throw a ball really far and know its a game
knows tons of words
can get mommy toilet paper if she needs it!
pretends to have a hurt hand and makes an adorable pouty face while we say "oh, hurt hand"
sometimes he holds out both "hurt hands" for kisses
loves to push a car
loves to hold his own peeled apple to eat
pretends to cough and can now even cover his mouth while he does it
can retrieve any food out of his mouth-- and usually does- and will feed it to you. This works for crackers but also pureed peas and yogurt
loves to pass you something back and forth to say "thank you"
has five teeth
has the best laugh ever
Followed only by his smile
loves to play with your toys--but love grown up things best--like remotes keys cell phones pens etc
can color and hold a pen pretty well
knows "eyes mouth ear" game and we are working on tummy chin leg
can sit outside for an hour and just look at everything and play with sticks and grass

I can't believe how far you have come. I can't wait to see what happens next!

Owen's Birth Story!

A year ago this moment I was deep in labor with Owen. It was the best night of my life so far--and of course the most difficult. This is the story of my son's birth.

I still can't believe I have this tiny little one in my care. It is so intense...the biggest love instantly...it was too much for me at first being so totally love at first sight all at once. I cried (just like in Raising Arizona) "I love him sooooo mu-mu-much" all day the first day home...The birth was incredible. I was showing signs of hypertension and my doctor wanted to induce...I was very reluctant but he was past term and I just went ahead with it. I went in around 6 a.m. Monday morning-- it was still dark--and got some sort of gel put on my cervix to "ripen" it because it was not ready at all. All my sisters were like this too so I tended to believe them that I wasn't going to dilate on my own despite visualizing all sorts of flowers blooming...I hung out in the hospital and after hours of menstrual type cramps getting really intense (around 6 pm) my doctor came by and he checked me out and my water broke and was 4 centimeters dilated...I was thrilled. I was thinking, "I can handle this!" I labored on I guess pretty ineffectually for a few hours and the nurse was hinting at pitocin to stimulate contractions. I was in pain and could not make a decision. I had spent a few hours in the shower on a birth ball and while I thought I was making headway, I was informed that if I was that composed and talkative there was still a long way to go. I was completely against the idea in theory, but was afraid i could not go on all night long the way things were. I was already pretty tired. I didn't really sleep the night before and we had been at the hospital all day since 6am. I knew that pitocin makes contractions intense and come right on top of each other with no relief, but with my doctors help, we decided that i just needed to get things moving. I couldn't sleep through the contractions I was having, so rest was out of the question....anyway, it was pretty painful I will admit. I was having back labor and could not find relief in any position. I finally got in a rocker for the last two centimeters. I just sat and rocked and sort of fell asleep. I remember thinking that I was messing up the rocker because I kept feeling a gushing that I thought was pee. I guess it was amniotic fluid. Also, this is where Salli was most helpful obviously. I honestly could not have done it with out her. He help was constant in an unobtrusive way. I mean, Jeff was asleep! I really had to use the relaxation techniques that our Doula Salli taught me--start with the face muscles first and open your mouth and work down--I think I threw up around now and also had to go to the bathroom in an emergency type way! I was having uncontrollable pushing feelings...so I had to get on hands and knees on top of the bed to breath through them... I think at that point the baby turned around and so that horrible pressing pain stopped and I heard the best words of my life "I think I will go get the birth cart and call the doctor"... and I was ready to push our little bird into the world!! My doctor showed up and I started pushing--I pushed very well. I think that part lasted only 20 mins or so. I remember thinking, "You have to do it or it will never be over" Jeff was right there by me and It was simply the best feeling to feel Owen's head and shoulders and finally his whole body slip out. I was so glad it was OVER that's all I was honestly thinking for quite a while. .. well, also, thinking Never again. We will adopt... etc. I felt like that for like three days but now, I refer to that night as the most exciting night ever! Ha! Overall the hospital experience, while not my first choice ( we wanted to do a home birth) was great. Our nurse was trained like a midwife and suggested positions and relief techniques unheard of in most hospitals. I had hired a Doula for support as well and she was amazing too. I think that I was in real active labor for about 5 hours and 20 mins of pushing. I had to be at the hospital for 12 hours of waiting for the cervical gel to kick in, but that was just killing time. My doctor checked me around 5:30 p.m. and that's when my water broke. Things got more intense from there and Owen was born at 4:31 am. I am thinking back and remembering the intensity and wonderment exhaustion elation and sweetness....just wow. Tomorrow is Owen's first birthday and I wanted to get this down for the record.

Why did I ever agree to this?

Jeff is under African skies now and I miss him dreadfully. I feel the same way as when I was in labor with Owen. I don't think I can make it through but there is no way out. Or when you are locked and loaded in a scary roller coaster...I mean, I am not afraid of anything, but I miss him! He is me and I am feeling the stretch. Owen is acting extra clingly too. Damn Damn Damn....

Peace at 7 a.m.

I never thought I would be glad to get out of bed pre-dawn just for the solitude...just to sit quietly and drink a cup of coffee and write is so wonderful this is going to be my new thing. Last night I was in bed by ten/asleep by eleven so I bet while Jeff is gone we will be more on a "schedule". I have to admit, many of the attached parenting techniques we have tried with Owen have not really worked. I guess I am talking about the sleep situation. We none of us are getting enough and Jeff is still in the "little buckaroo" bed. I am going to get Owen his own crib and this next week start to talk to O about being a big boy so when we get back from Nanny's birthday we can try sleeping alone. I'm not talking about banishing my baby to another room here, just a small crib alongside of the big bed.
So, our other big news is that Jeff is going to Rwanda to help with an internet network and then on to France for 5 days to see his friend Alex. Very exciting to see his hard work pay off in such a cool way. But we are so very sad about the separation. I am not even acknowledging it.

Owen continues to amaze me. He is so sweet natured but also very determined. He proudly shows off five teeth--three on top two on bottom. He is pulling up on everything and starting to take a wobbly step sideways while holding on to something. He has a ton on words--some real and some stand ins. His favorite word seems to be "thank you". We pass things back and forth and say thank you all day! We had another round of sister/cousins come to visit and he loved that of course. Jake and Jared were not so into him as his other cousins though b/c they are pretty young themselves. But I loved seeing them. Those boys bring joy and life with them.

I miss everybody.